Midnight SILHOUETTE

MIDNIGHT!/ Tuesday, July 25, 2006

candy and i went to kfc again today lol

i missed the chicken chop and she accompanied me to have my dinner there..

i ordered the same except i changed the colesaw to fries as i don't eat that..

i saw my primary school classmate (if it's really him), Calvin Tan Jian Wei.

why am i sure that it's him?

'cos i saw his initial on the tag which was J.W.TAN..

he has a pair of eyes which i remember till now.. it's so distinctive..

sadly, he didn't saw me or maybe he did but just couldn't regconise me?

i'm also afraid to approach him since he's not alone.. (i paiseh la)

he has changed, from a very skinny weak boy to a much bigger built taller man!

i've not seen him after i graduated from my primary school until just now..

how people change through time.. haha

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
23:04 <3

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wooOoo.. i'm so tired..

seems like after completing an assignment, there will be more coming in..

it's never ending..

i can hardly wait till holiday..

it seems so far away~ =(

oh well, i was supposed to blog yesterday but i was too tired and lazy to do so..

went to jp to shop for qh and mariani's presents with candy..

we ended up spending more than 2hrs there..

after several tries to find her type of shorts and denim, we gave up and went to kfc to have our dinner..

we tried out the chicken chop and the portion was rather miserable.. =/ it would be best if there was more..

when i finished my chicken chop, den appeared "asking" me to keep quiet as he wanted to surprise (scare) candy..

due to my slow or rather retarded reaction, she "discovered" him.. LOL

we chatted and left kfc after i finished candy's cheese fries.. =D~

on the way to the interchange, i asked den if candy has putted on weight..

guess what's his reply?

"No"

then candy was like smiling very happily nor LOL

i forgot what i said next but candy asked him between me and her, who's fatter?

den said i was! LOL

but anyway, that was fun~ haha

oh ya, candy bought a shirt for him and he loves it (from the way he reacts) haha..

she also mentioned that she gonna buy something for the both of them wor~ i don't want to state that item in case he reads it and there won't be anymore surprise.. hee..

isn't she sweet? =D

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
22:52 <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Monday, July 24, 2006

just now while watching the 齐天大圣, there was this group of contestants where there are 3 of them in total..

they were known as suli, joyce and candy!

it was like OMG la!

why?

'cos both "joyce and candy" are very fat!

candy, they were both dancing in that show wor..

though they may be fat, but their dancing are not that bad la.. LOL

that was too much of a coincidence liao haha

there were joyce and candy, so who is the other person?

~~is it lizhi? (the suli was skinny though)~~

(edited)
it's lizhi & shujuan~ (candy thought of it LOL)

who knows? haha

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
01:39 <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Sunday, July 23, 2006

i supposed i cannot be left alone..

why?

because i will think and think.. in the end still thinking..

i realised i have lots of friends and i supposed most of you know..

but they are merely friends.. who are just hi-bye friends..

don't know since when, my phone has been awfully quiet where seldom people will sms or call me..

seriously, i cannot remember when it all started..

as a matter of fact, i'm actually quite envious of some people who always seem to have many peoeple sms-ing and calling them..

maybe i'm just not popular? not attractive or friendly or even nice to let other people remember me?

perhaps it's true..

i just don't have the luck..

人缘不好啦!

come to think of it..

i am actually feeling lonely..

i have friends, yes i do..

but seriously, i don't really take the initiative to look for them now..

why? i supposed i'm afraid of disturbing them since they may be occupied with work or busy with other things?

they have their own activities..

in fact, there are many things i'm keeping to myself..

i was so reticent about my
social life that even my close friends didnt know about hw & i have broke up..

i didn't really tell it to anyone..

come to think of it.. life without the another half seems really liveless..

i feel rather lonely too.. and i will feel kind of envy when i saw other couples being so happy together..

anyway, it all does not matter.. why?

'cos i'm just thinking too much!

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
03:17 <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Saturday, July 22, 2006

it’s been quite a busy week for me..

rushing for my school assignments has cut down the time i can sleep..

it’s certainly not easy..

imagine me trying to get the work done and at the same time i was dozing off..

i’m lack of sleep, water and nutrients..

finally i have completed one assignment which i took such long time to combine my groupmates work and mine together.. it was really time-consuming..

i ended up doing the combining alone and missed the chance of doing my PP.. and i stayed up to do it..

and some people actually find it to be something i should do.. without thanking or perhaps say 辛苦你了..

but cannot blame ar.. since they are all busy with other things also..

i have realised that people change through time..

people whom u have trusted in the beginning will change as the time goes..

it’s rather disappointed to know it.. but what can we do? we certainly cannot turn back time..

sometimes, we tend to speak and say something about a particular person without thinking of his/her feelings, and unintentionally hurting the person..

and some people, they just meant it as a joke as certain people can take it while others cannot..

therefore, sometimes, knowing that certain people cannot take some jokes, we should naturally try our best to not joke about a particular matter so as not to hurt anyone..

but, some people after being told, they can replied that they don’t care.. they just said anything that come to their mind..

well, i know certain people are rather straight forward, but not all people can accept the facts..

i’m actually quite disappointed with the fact that you have changed..

the way you joke tends to sound sarcastic to me though i’ve never tell you so..

maybe you never realised or you simply don’t care..

it doesn’t matter to me..

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
18:49 <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Friday, July 14, 2006

i'm skipping lizhi's true friends tag since i'm just so lazy to do so..

list of things i need to complete:

- 3DM: design front and side view of character.. (must be human-like)
-BA: drawing of tail & box
-UED: template
-GA: graphics design
IST: miki & chief & world description
-IS: read up on tomorrow's lecture

there's more coming up but these are the MUST complete FIRST tasks!

i'm gonna cry & then go crazy!

see ya in woodbridge.. =D

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
00:23 <3

>>>

was dozing off when i suddenly remember i have got a pending friend request awaiting for my accept. haha

so, i logged onto friendster and accepted his request..

since i'm in friendster, i might as well go check out some of my friends whom i've not hear for sometimes..

and yes, i looked up on 小可爱, someone whom i knew back in ite through wl..

he has put on weight! haha..

well, cannot blame, since he has a steady gf and the life is sweet.. keke

while reading the testimonials he and his gf wrote to each other, it has kind influence me..

i can almost feel that i'm there to witness everything.. haha

it's really sweet..

time has passed so soon without waiting..

if not wrong, when i knew about him & his gf being together, it was only for a few months? but now, it's been 1 year plus together already!

seems like they will be spending the rest of their life together.. and it's really a happy thing to know that they are so happy together!

as a friend, i wanna wish them all the best and hope their love will be stronger each time.. may their love be strong & lasting.. =D

i miss the ite days when i knew him..

my first impression of him was that he looks so cute la.. LOL

being chubby is his trait and i cannot help but to call him 小可爱 since then.. lol

it's nice knowing him.. really.. and i'm glad he has found someone who he can spend and share his life with.. =D

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
00:02 <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Tuesday, July 11, 2006

edited..

i have decided to remove the contents since i think it has scared the viewers and caused horror to them..

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
23:45 <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Sunday, July 09, 2006

The First Man Pregnancy (TRUE STORY)

As an artist who has had solo exhibitions at The Whitney Museum of American Art and The Cleveland Museum of Art, Lee Mingwei explores the evanescent and diurnal cycles of living. His work is based on such basic human activities as cooking, letterwriting, and now child-bearing.

A few weeks ago, writer Janice Versalius of PaperVeins magazine had a long and intimate conversation with Mr. Lee in his Manhattan apartment. An excerpt of the interview appears below. Additional interviews with Mr. Lee will also be included in the upcoming film documentary.

Janice
Mr. Lee, as we just discussed, male pregnancy may prove to be an extremely dangerous medical procedure at this point - particularly when your doctors perform your Cesarian operation. Why have you chosen to do this?

Mr. Lee
A lot of people have cast this endeavor as something terribly monstrous - a startling example of how science and medicine have simply gone too far. From my perspective, however, I am simply bringing a child into this world. There is nothing more natural and beautiful on this earth than that. This is something that I've always wanted to do.

Janice
But surely you understand why some people find the idea of a pregnant man disturbing?

Mr. Lee
Well, I understand how it may be a shocking concept at first. Biologically, women have always given birth to children, and men have not. Despite the dramatic results of the sexual revolution in the latter half of this century, there are still very distinct and concrete social roles determined by this... until now... undeniable biological fact. Now, it seems, we have several important questions to consider. Why shouldn't men carry children and care for a fetus the same way a women does? Why shouldn't a man bear a burden that women have always carried? On the other hand, why shouldn't a man be able to experience the same joy and excitement that a pregnant woman feels nurturing a child within her own body? Now I think men, as well as women, have more choices, more possibilities, more roles they can assume in their lives.

Janice
I can tell you that my father for one would have donated all his internal organs before even entertaining the idea of getting pregnant.

Mr. Lee
Yes, it's interesting that many men feel very threatened by this idea. Men getting pregnant used to be a big joke - a point of ridicule. Someone was telling me about this popular American film where Arnold Schwarzenegger's character became pregnant. The humor was based on the sheer absurdity of such a distinct feminine condition being imposed on someone who represented the ultimate paradigm of Western masculinity. It seems like something rooted in a preoccupation with very traditional gender role assumptions. There was also an episode of The Cosby Show, apparently, where the male characters dreamed they were all pregnant. Now that pregnant men are a reality, no one is laughing anymore!

Janice
I was thinking about how a lot of sitcoms, particularly in the 70's and 80's, were always filled with men dressing up women to get laughs. But when men in real life actually wanted to dress up as women, they were usually harassed or beaten up.

Mr. Lee
That's a good analogy. Drag was once considered something provocative, bizarre, and unnatural. Now we even have the mayor of New York dressing up as a woman on live television. Did you hear about that?

Janice
I remember seeing it last year on Saturday Night Live. I thought I was hallucinating.

Mr. Lee
But, he still did it for laughs. I think many drag queens who were drawn to the subversion of drag - the shock value of it - are somewhat disappointed at how mainstream it has become. And at the same time, I see many transvestites who are still marginalized by both gay and straight people. If you're a man who actually wants to become a woman, without the intent of performing or putting on a show, then you're still considered weird.

Janice
How would you respond to people who would consider you a pregnant transvestite and not a pregnant man?

Mr. Lee
Well, it's not really accurate. I'm still male afterall - biologically and anatomically. It's interesting that some people believe the definition of being a man is so precarious! And unlike the men who feel this strong desire to physically become women, I've never wished for that ... and I haven't done that. I have, however, always wanted to have a much stronger empathy with women. I love my mother and sister very much, and I'm very happy to share in something they have both experienced. Being pregnant is a wonderful feeling. It's something that all human beings - both men and women - should experience before they die. This process has been a spiritual rebirth for me.

Janice
I was just reading about one of your art projects - A Hundred Days With Lily. You have also described it as spiritually renewing experience.

Mr. Lee
Yes. I carried a handful of white lilies for three months with me wherever I went. It was in honor of my grandmother who had passed away, to pay respect to her in some small way.

Janice
I read that this was something rooted in Ch'an Buddhism. Is that correct?

Mr. Lee
The idea is rooted in Ch'an Buddhism. I had spent many years growing up in a Buddhist monastery in Taiwan. We learned to appreciate the simple, transient, and everyday moments in life.

Janice
Well, I must say, a pregnant man isn't something you see everyday.

Mr. Lee
Actually, I see this pregnancy as being very much in keeping with Buddhist philosophical thought. There is a strong connection I feel between myself, the child within my body, and the world around us both. And I think there is a greater awareness and empathy I now share with my mother and sister as a result of my pregnancy. Most of all, there is a level of insight and understanding about being alive - of sharing your life - in ways that I've never realized before.

Janice
I've talked with other pregnant people who have also described this sensation. I felt it strongly myself when I had my own daughter a few years ago... One last question, Mr. Lee. Do you have a name for your baby yet?

Mr. Lee
I think I'll only know the name when the child is born. I guess we'll have to wait and see!

Sumber: Male Pregnancy

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i cannot believe the science is so advanced that even male can give birth to child..

if that's the case, next time i can pass the task of giving birth to my guy so i can take a break..

since guys do not need to worry about the every month "losing of blood", they shall experience this for us female..

if not perhaps after i gave birth to one, he can help me by giving birth to another 1? LOL

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
18:27 <3

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tickle's quizzes

Why Are You Still Single?

J0yc3, you're single because you don't want to slow down

Whether you're working all hours, busy with school, or planning a cross-country move, it sounds like you just don't have time for anyone else in your life...right now, that is. Your timing may be off in other aspects, too. Chances are, you've met that perfect person who just so happens to be married or planning their own cross-country move. So take a step back for a moment. Is there something underlying this? Could it be you're afraid to get involved for some reason or another, and are therefore attracted to people who are simply unavailable?

Whether you're secretly sabotaging yourself or not, try a little exercise. Open your mind to those who are around you (and available!) right now. Then let up on your schedule to let that someone in. That is, unless you want to get married to your goals, and not Mr. or Mrs. Right.

What Kind of Friend Are You?

J0yc3, you're a Sympathetic Sidekick

No one ever accused you of not having a soft side. And that's why friends flock to your sympathetic ear and well-thought-out advice. You are tuned in to the world around you, and you are always looking for ways to bring people together and enjoy each other's company.

While some people might have one or two close friends, you like to spread your wings and socialize with any number of people. You are open-hearted and free-spirited, making it easy for you to find common ground with anyone you meet. Keep up the good work — everyone could use a friend like you.

Where Do You Find Love?

J0yc3, you find love in a Secret Crush

You love the crush. It's that simple. Butterflies in the stomach, blushing when they walk in the room, coming up with plausible excuses to talk to them — it's the whole fantasy that appeals to you. Maybe you like having a secret and admiring someone from afar, or perhaps you're just shy when it comes to matters of the heart. But underneath all the cloak and dagger stuff, we wouldn't be surprised if there's a passion for all things mushy and gushy. Maybe that's part of your secret too.

In or out of a relationship, you like the idea of the ideal. That's what can make it so hard to take the first step to make a crush something more — you don't want to burst that bubble. But how do you know what will happen if you don't try? Maybe some secrets aren't supposed to stay that way.

Are You Fit to Commit?

J0yc3, you're not fit to commit because you've got baggage

Ever gotten burned by a bad relationship? Well, who hasn't? You gave them your heart, and they gave you a pen — hey, it happens. But a broken heart isn't the real problem here — you just haven't let it go yet.

You're a lover, not a fighter, after all. But your sentimental and stubborn ways can make you hold on to things, even when they're not good for you. Isn't it time you learned from the past and used that to make your relationship work? A passionate soul like you deserves the best, so get out there and find it!

there's more to come.. haha

stay tuned~

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
03:04 <3

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tagged by candy so here you go:

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head?
1) candy
2) wl
3) hw
4) lizhi
5) sj
6) wz
7) ken
8)jen
9) hf
10) scan
11) wk
12) ernest
13) lifen
14) ishah
15) zj
16) ll
17) hf
18) junyi
19)uncle
20) cc
21) ronald

THE QUESTIONS:
1. How did you meet 14?
hmm.. she was my sec 1 classmate..

2. What would you do if you never met 6?
hmm 1 less ppl that i can cope cute things from & discuss abt anime?

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 date?
ehto.. maybe i have thought of it when i'm sec 2? but then it's not possible~

4. Did you ever like 5?
yeah sure.. she is so cute!

5. Would 3 and 12 make a good couple?
my ex & my di? OMG lor! that was so impossible even if they are gay!

6. Describe 8
performs herself well outside.. talks well.. cares about family..

7. Do you think 13 is attractive?
yeah.. she has grown to be much prettier~

8. Tell me something about 17
someone whom i'm close with in ITE days.. a very cheerful girl.. is many guys' type of girl..

9. Do you know any of 4's family members?
not really know.. just went to her house several time before and chatted with them before?

10. What's 21's favourite colour?
good question.. not so close to the extent that i know what's his fav. color.

11. What would you do if 18 confessed to liking you?
eh.. it's impossible ba.. though we knew each other for years but we have not met each other in real life before..

12. What language does 20 speak?
mandarin

13. Who is 9 going out with?
hmm.. e last time i saw her that's none.. not sure if there's one now.. gotta update with her soon!

14. What grade is 16 in?
erm.. poly year 2?

15. When's the last time you talked to 3?
i think it was on the 20th?

16. What perfume does number 2 uses?
i have no idea.. the last time he wasnt using any.. perhaps he has changed and is using 1 now?

17. Would you ever date 7?
hmm.. when one day i fall in love with him? haha

18. Would you ever date 1?
eh.. hmm.. when i become a bi and also happens to like her? for now it's impossible! LOL

19. Is 15 single?
haha.. should be ba.. not sure wor.. must ask him keke

20. What's 19's last name?
ong?

21. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 11?
thought of it before? but it's not possible.. we shall remain good friends always since i don't wanna lose a friend like him..

22. What school does 3 goes to?
why keeps asking about 3? he is currently serving ns..

23. Where does 10 lives?
my area..

24. What's your favourite thing about 10?
she has taught me a lot of things i've never experienced before..

25. Have you ever seen number 1 naked?
nope.. eh candy! show me one day? LOL

the questions asked are not very appropriate leh.. like kind of stupid for some..

should ask something everyone can answer..

anyway, since i'm tagged by candy, i shall pass on this to scan and aishah?

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
01:57 <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Saturday, July 08, 2006

once again i have pushed my work to the very last minute..

it's not one or twice, it's like don't know how many times already!

just like today, i was supposed to complete my BA or at least finish 3/4 progress, but i gave up when it's not even half way through..

omg la, how bad can i get?

i'm just so restless & slack..

how?

what can i do?

i don't know why, i just cannot make myself do it..

come to think of it, i have not been giving my best in doing all the assignments since e start of this sem..

it's no good!

i need to change!

yeah, said is always easier then action..

=(

i'm like lacking confidence in my work la..

when i saw lizhi's & e rest of the people's BA, i was like -.-" why can't i do as good as them?

maybe this was because i did not put in my heart to do..

i just cannot concentrate..

my mind kept wanders away..

I HAVE NOT COMPLETE ANY ASSIGNMENTS ON HAND AT THE MOMENT!!

HELP ME PLEASE!

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
02:39 <3

>>>

i have wanted to upload the photos we took during the changi trip for bdae celebration but have been either lazy or no time..

so here you are:

the females who went

me trying to kiss wz while she points at me

inside swensens with part of the birthday cake shown.. 3 bdae girls starting from left of row 1..

honestly, jh & lizhi look like a couple sitting side by side both in black somemore.. =X

i'll update more of the photos since i have only resized these 3 pictures.. LOL

stay tuned!

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
02:33 <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Tuesday, July 04, 2006

李圣杰 - 重来

＊有多少爱能重来　多少人愿意等待　失去之后才明白
　走进回忆的安排　一幕一幕的对白　上演我们的未来
　期待原来是一种伤害　深爱的人一离开　是我不敢忽略你给我的爱

现在我只想回到最初的时候　不愿让你在泪流
寂寞之后　只有你会陪着我
现在我只想回到最初的时候　我知道你还爱着我
亲爱的你　请你握紧我的手
请你看看我　请看需要你的我　一切重头

Repeat ＊

现在我只想回到最初的时候　不愿让你在泪流
寂寞之后　只有你会陪着我
现在我只想回到最初的时候　我知道你还爱着我
亲爱的你　请你握紧我的手
请你看看我　真的需要你的我　只要你回头

现在我只想回到最初的时候　不愿让你在泪流
寂寞之后　只有你会陪着我
现在我只想回到最初的时候　我知道你还爱着我
亲爱的你　请你握紧我的手
请你看看我　真的需要你的我　只要你回头 oh~~~　oh~~ya

我也想重来..

可以吗?

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
23:35 <3

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MIDNIGHT!/ Monday, July 03, 2006

how sia..

i have been very slack since the start of year 2..

or rather, since very long time ago..

i don't have motivation to drive me forward..

keep pushing my works to the very last moment..

which always resulted in staying up late & lack of sleep..

how? i just cannot make myself buck up..

Damnit, it ain't meant to be.
00:50 <3

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